Day 100
by FatalNightmares
Summary: "Why did I do it? I don't know; I guess I was bored. I was tired of the same old routine. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVED it. I loved him. And those were the best years of my life ... but I knew I wanted something different. So I did it, I finally did it! I let him kill me." Demon!Izaya, Shizaya, horror, death/afterlife, prison, therapy, magic, 18A for sexual content and violence.
1. The Beginning of the End

Author's Note: Hey fam, I have a message for you! Please try not to be discouraged by the slow start of this fanfic. As the story progresses, the days will get longer, the chapters will be longer, etc. Honestly I believe in quality over quantity in everything that I write. If you are not that type of person, I totally understand, but give my story a chance and it might surprise you. Remember that there are 100 days and even more, depending on how ambitious I am!

UPDATE: If you would like to skip to some sexy times, I suggest you skip to the chapter named Possession. Enjoy!

**The Beginning of the End**

Prologue:

_"Why did I do it? I don't know, I guess I was bored. I was tired of the same routine over and over again. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED it. Those were the best years of my life... but I knew I wanted something different. So I did it, I finally did it! I let him kill me. I couldn't wait to torture him for the rest of his natural life and what better way was there than prison? After all, he had free food. Well... I wouldn't really call it food, more like meat made out of rodents. On top of that he had shelter, water, manual labour and all the guilt you can imagine! It was hilarious seeing his face when the police dragged him away. At that moment I could see he realized this was all a set-up. He chose his own future this time. He didn't say anything for the entire trial even while his family actually cried for him. Then I followed him to prison..."_

* * *

Day One:

He is sitting on the rock solid bed, wearing his orange suit. God, I love seeing him in that suit. The way the material hugs and forms his toned body is so... invigorating. It is a reminder of what he did to me. One thing he is allowed to do is read, I learn. I didn't even know the neanderthal could read until now. It seems to be the first thing he tries to pass the time.

Day Two:

He just reads and reads the same book over and over. While it was fun the first time around, it's getting old. I have to watch him eat the food they give him. I don't know how he eats it, it looks worse than Simon's Russia Sushi. Probably tastes worse, too. I wonder what would happen if I poisoned his meal, just to be a pain in his day.

Day Three:

Who knew being dead can cause cravings? Today they give him ootoro that doesn't even look like ootoro... but at least it's sort-of tuna. Sort-of tuna is better eating nothing at all, I suppose. Although, I don't really feel like I can stomach food. I guess that's a side effect of being dead. I never actually thought about what I would miss in the human world. So far, it's just ootoro.

Day Four:

I'm watching him talk to a prisoner about my death. It's getting funny watching him talk about it, the other guy looks so scared. Who wouldn't be scared of his strength aside from me? From what I see, the prisoners don't get much time out of their cells. I still crave food, but being dead, I don't need to eat. Watching him eat is a pain but I get to watch him do other things, like reading books.

Day Five:

I sit on the floor, watching him read a new book, The Shining by Stephen King. Hmph, a ghost book. How ironic. I'm debating whether or not I should creep him out yet, but then I realize he's probably too engrossed in the book to notice anything. I can show him my true form right here, right now, and he won't even notice. After about ten minutes, I conclude he's not going to move, so I decide to check out the other prisoners. That soon becomes a mistake. Most of them look crazier than I am, and the rest look disgusting. I'm glad that I don't have a sense of smell anymore.

Day Six:

I have watched him for nearly a whole week and he hasn't done anything interesting. Today he seems content to stare out the barred window. I want to carve my name into the wall to see if he notices. He probably won't but it still would be fun. I wonder, does every demon have this problem? Then a thought hits me: There might be other demons in this prison. Inmates die in prison all the time, so wouldn't that make sense? I leave to float, trying to see if I can spot something odd, aside from the inmates themselves.

What I find disturbs me. For those of you who know me, you recognize that doesn't happen nearly as often as it should. There is this inhuman... thing... scratching at the wall of an inmate's cell. It looks back at me and I notice it doesn't exactly have a face. That's when I decide to casually walk back to his cell. On the way, I can't help but think... will that become me?

Day Seven:

It's been a week now, one whole week of watching the protozoan. That thing from yesterday still has me thinking, if I linger here, will I turn into some blithering mess?

He is showing no signs of boredom aside from reading another book. Man, I might mess with his books soon. I'm sick of him reading; I want to watch him suffer. I look into the opposite cell to a guy who is also watching him read. He seems quite interested in Shizuo, in a creepy sort of way. Now I am curious to see how the ape would react if he touched him in his sleep. Perhaps I'll just watch him until then, since life around here is pretty boring as it is.

Day Eight:

Unfortunately his next door neighbour doesn't molest him in the middle of the night. I stay up watching the creeper stare at him through the bars. By stay up, I mean observe. I can't sleep but I can shut down for hours on end, even years if I want to. Sometimes I can feel his neighbour stare at me, though I know that's impossible. At the crack of dawn, the guards do their usual wake-up routine. Banging their barbaric batons against the jail cells until everyone wakes up. I feel the need to break their wrists before they even have the chance.

It has been eight days already and he hasn't cracked yet. Shame, I want to see him go stir crazy. His neighbours watch him sleep while the he just sleeps like it's nothing. How will he react when I mess with things around him? I might throw his book at a guard, or maybe write a love letter to another prisoner. The opportunities are endless.

Day Nine:

I sit down cross-legged on a bucket, watching him lay on his bed. I notice that he is not sleeping; I can tell from the stirring of his eyelids. It's funny, right now he actually looks somewhat peaceful... and I hate it. He's not supposed to look like anything other than a savage beast. Wouldn't this be the perfect time? I wonder. With my sharp claws, I carve my name in big, bold letters on the bed frame above him. He rolls in his bed, tossing and turning before he decides to open his eyes. From his perspective he can see absolutely nothing aside from the letters forming.

The small shudder of his body make me smile even though he cannot see me. I would love to see his reaction. While I'm half way through my name, he moves closer to the edge of his bed. That doesn't bother me in the slightest. In fact, it encourages my actions. Now whenever he wakes up, he will see my name.

* * *

Prologue continued:

_Shinra writes on his clipboard, waiting for me to continue. When I stop, he looks up at me, glasses glistening under the dim light. "So... What happened after that?"_

_"I can't remember." I lie._

_Shinra taps the pen against his page, inhaling deeply through his nose. "Izaya... You've come all this way, and you're going to stop there? I know you remember, you've always had a good memory. You never forget things, no matter how useless. Remember the time you told me Chicago has the highest number of personalized license plates?"_

_"Actually, it's all of Illinois, but you were close." I correct him and realize shortly after I just proved his point. Shit._


	2. Flashback

**Day Nine Continued:**

After moving to the edge of the bed, he holds his face in his hands, taking deep breaths. I wait approximately five more minutes, staring intently while he slows down his breathing and runs a hand over his face. What is going to happen now?

The expression on his face is unreadable, as it always has been. It's as if he knows I am watching him right now. Had I made a mistake in carving my name? I tilt my head to the side, watching him stare right through me. No, ever since the trial, he's been void of emotion. Guilt? Hah, I highly doubt that. Just to confirm my suspicions, he starts laughing, making me jump.

What...?

Why is he laughing? Could it be he has finally snapped or he is just thinking about something funny? Hell if I know, either way it pisses me off. Ever since I can remember, Shizuo has always gone against my wishes. Who knew that even with my death, he would still manage to mock me?

"Oh Izaya," he addresses me for the first time since my death, albeit the fact he's not actually talking to me. He's currently speaking to the bed. "You're gone but you still manage to screw with my head. 'Having me carve your name in my bed for fuck sake's." He shakes his head. "This boredom will be the death of me." He finishes his little speech and grabs the same damn book he's been reading for the past three days.

Excuse me!? Who does he think he is? HE wasn't the one who carved my name, I was! Me! Izaya Orihara! The same man he murdered with his bare hands! This makes me enraged to no end. How can Shizuo be this fucking dense?

I mean sure, I wanted him to kill me, but to see that he doesn't regret my death at all? This was not something that I anticipated. I will stop at _nothing_ until he regrets losing his freedom. I rip the book from his hands and throw it in the toilet behind him.

That seems to get a rise out of him. He sits up from his bed, looking over to the toilet in sheer confusion. Shizuo covers his hands over his shoulders, breathing out cold air. He is shivering.

"Throwing books now?" Shizuo's next door neighbor taps on the cell. This one isn't creepy at all, actually he was rather cute. He has jet black medium-length hair, tattoos, milky skin, bright blue eyes, a tall, slim figure and pearly white teeth. It looks like he is in his early twenties.

Blinking, I realize this man actually looks like me minus the whole demon aspect, the fact that I don't have tattoos and my eyes are crimson red. I didn't pay attention to him much before this. He was usually off doing some prison duties. When he was in his cell, I've only ever seen him sleep. "It looks like you're having a tough time, newbie." The ravenette flashed a smirk.

Shizuo looks to his right, seeing the culprit talking to him. For a moment, Shizuo is stunned, possibly at the resemblance. "Fuck off. The wall needed to learn to read."

Shizuo's neighbor giggled. "You're a feisty one. Nice to meet you, I'm Josh Winters." Josh extends his hand through the bars. I laugh to myself; this guy has a death wish if he wants to befriend Shizu-chan.

"Don't care." Shizuo said simply, brushing his hand away.

"Hey, I'm just trying to make our time in here a little more bearable. It looks like you can use a friend."

"No, what I need is some goddamn peace and quiet. It's the only time I get."

"Time you get for what? You're not trying to sleep… and your book is trashed."

Shizuo growls. I know that growl; it means Shizuo acknowledges Josh is right, but of course he refuses to admit it. "Time to fuckin' think, then."

"Think about what?" Josh prods Shizuo's nerves, something that not many people dare to do.

"About bashing your face into the wall." Shizuo rolls his eyes. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"I did, but… I also threw my book into the toilet." Josh smiled charmingly.

My eyes light up at this little moment. As a master of reading people, I can tell Josh isn't going to give up any time soon. There also may be a possibility that he is flirting with Shizu-chan. Only time will tell, but I know things just got a whole new level of interesting. I can definitely use this to my advantage.

"Sucks to be you." Shizuo groans, leaning back against his bed frame.

**Day Ten:**

In the morning, the guards do their usual wake up routine. I stayed awake for the entire night, not wanting to miss a moment of their conversation. Unfortunately, the two fell (and stayed) asleep after that.

Shizuo wakes up begrudgingly, looking more tired than usual. A guard opens up Shizuo's cell, noticing the book in the toilet. "Prisoner 194678, would you like to explain why your book is in the toilet?"

"I don't know, it's a shitty fuckin' book."

Josh laughs from next door, earning him a slap from one of the officers.

The guard shakes his head in front of Shizuo. "You are lucky that we don't put you in solitary confinement. We have been more than nice to you here, Heiwajima. You've just lost your privilege to read books and will now join Mr. Winters with janitor duty. Good luck cleaning the bathrooms."

If Shizuo could hear me right now, he would probably kill me ten times over, hearing how hard I am laughing. If I had a functioning bladder, I would probably be pissing myself right now. I'm imagining Shizuo's face while wearing a maid outfit, cleaning the shit off every crevasse in the prison. Speaking of which, the blond looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel now.

The guard backs away, noticing the expression on Shizuo's face. The officer appeared to be stronger than most guys he fought, but no one was stupid enough to test him. Everyone knew Shizuo could kill them with the flick of his wrist.

I know all too well how fast Shizuo can kill. I am visualizing those strong hands wrapping tightly around my throat, those eyes boring right into my soul, those lips curling into an unmistakable frown, as I take my last breath of oxygen. I shudder, stopping myself from thinking about this.

Evidently I always knew Shizuo could kill me, but I never, in a billion years, anticipated how _easily_ it came to him. When he killed me, it was like he was squashing a bug in between his fingers, nothing more than a flea. He is a monster in human form, a truly, heartless beast.


	3. Slacking Off

_Author's Note:_ Thank you so much to the guest – nemo who reviewed! All reviews are appreciated. Yes, that was my intention and I hope you continue to like the story!

**Slacking Off: Day Ten Continued**

"Mind if I sit with you?" Josh asks, standing at Shizuo's table during breakfast.

Shizuo looks around at all the other empty seats. "Do you even need to ask?"

"Right…" Josh sits down across from Shizuo anyway. This guy has major balls, I have to admit. "You know, I still can't believe you threw your book in the toilet. At least I won't be cleaning the change rooms alone anymore; they're nasty."

Shizuo picks at his food with his fork. He had already eaten his pudding, which was the only thing remotely edible on his plate.

Josh continues speaking. "You're not going to eat?" Once again, Shizuo ignores him. "Sooner or later, you're going to have to talk to someone here. It's a lot better than being alone, believe me." Josh pauses. "I don't know anything about you, you don't know anything about me."

"We should keep it that way." Shizuo retorts coldly, not giving Josh a chance to finish.

"Why are you so adamant about making people hate you? I get it, you are super strong or whatever, but it doesn't mean you have to act like a douche."

Shizuo looks up from his plate with a stone-cold glare. It's the type of glare that he gives anyone before he sends them flying into a wall. However, it doesn't look like Josh cares, at least from his outside appearance. He looks entirely ready for a broken jaw or whatever Shizuo may send his way.

To my surprise, Shizuo doesn't do anything aside from stare. Everyone around their table is looking at Josh like he is insane. That is saying a lot from criminals. "Get the hell out of my sight." The blond says simply before Josh storms away from the table.

I watch Josh stomp towards the edge of the cafeteria where he is out of sight. I look over to Shizuo who is acting like nothing happened. "You are finally working on your communication skills, huh, Shizu-chan?" I lean in close to his ear.

The blond's honey eyes widen for a split second before covering his hand over his mouth. It looks like he is about to hurl but he manages to hold the gross food down. I'm impressed.

Wait a second…

Did Shizuo hear me?

That was the first time since I started following him that he was able to hear me. I do a little happy celebration dance, glad that no one can see me. It is times like these that I am glad I'm dead. If only I tried out this whole dead thing sooner, I could have done a lot more messing with my humans. Then again, I wouldn't have been able to frame Shizu-chan. Ahhhh, all of the pros and cons! There are many things I love about being dead that I am not able to do alive, vice versa. Oh well, seeing Shizuo suffer is more than worth my cravings.

* * *

"Winters has been our janitor for the last five years. I'm sure you two will manage to get along," the officer states as if it is an option, "and I trust that you won't do any more damage to our property, Heiwajima. Enjoy yourselves, I'll be around if you need me." The officer walks away, leaving Josh in charge of Shizuo.

"Are the officers always this easygoing around here?" Shizuo huffs.

"Not usually but I've managed to make friends with most of 'em. If anyone else is around though, they are way stricter… like what you saw this morning. They trust me."

Shizuo looks at Josh from the corner of his eye. It looks as though he is considering being his friend. That would be a smart idea seeing as this Josh guy has a lot of connections. "And why do they trust me with someone like you?"

Josh smirks up to Shizuo, "despite my looks, I'm a lot tougher than you think." He winked.

"Oh really?" Shizuo also grins. "Why don't you show me what you can do?"

"Uhhh…" Josh blinks a few times. "You want to fight me? I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean, we're on a strict schedule."

"Last time I checked, cleaning doesn't take twelve hours."

"Maybe not for someone like you." Josh takes a moment to think about Shizuo's offer. "Alright, fine… Only for thirty minutes, tops. An officer will come to check up on us every hour or so."

"That's all the time I need." Shizuo follows Josh towards an open space where they can safely fight. The blond looks confused as he is walking, though I know exactly where they are going. Josh fiddles around an abundance of keys, finding one that opens up two large doors.

"The gym?" Shizuo looks around the large gymnasium. He hasn't had a chance to work out in the gym before now. It looks quite nice and clean aside from being in a prison, courtesy of Josh of course.

"Yeah. It's open, there are lots of places to go." Josh sets his keys down on one of the bleachers.

"Are you planning on running away from me?" Shizuo chuckles quietly to himself.

"Maybe, you'll have to see for yourself." Josh stands a couple meters away from Shizuo. "Say the word and I'm ready." The ravenette stood calmly with his hands in his pockets.

"Let's go." Shizuo is the first to make his move which doesn't surprise me in the least. He is always the one itching for a fight, not the other way around. While Shizuo lunges himself at Josh, he doesn't budge until the last moment. The ravenette swiftly side-steps out of Shizuo's view, appearing at his back where he kicks him down onto the ground.

"Is that the best you have, Shizuo? I thought you were better than that~." Josh teases.

Shizuo growls, echoing the entire gym before standing up, ready to go again. He runs towards Josh in a barbaric fashion, chasing Josh up and down the bleachers while the raven laughs.

"Come on! I'm not even breaking a sweat!" Josh giggles as he jumps up on a basketball net from the top of the bleachers. He lands almost like a spider, feet at either side of the net while he holds onto the glass for balance. This is where I really see the resemblance between him and I. By the look on Shizuo's face, I can tell he feels the same.

Shizuo growls. He sprints towards a large cart of basketballs and proceeds to fling them in Josh's direction. Josh dodges most of the balls, though one manages to hit his side. He lets out a yelp and jumps down gracefully, despite being wounded. By the way he holds his side, I can guess that Shizuo may have broken a couple ribs. That doesn't stop him from dashing directly at Shizuo, dodging more and more balls as they soar his way.

As he gets even closer, Shizuo throws the cart at Josh and the ravenette jumps on top of the cart. While in midair, he pulls out a switch blade from his pocket and slashes Shizuo straight across his chest. Blood sprays out of the deep wound, splashing Josh against his face. From where the cut is, I can tell it went over the scar I gave Shizuo when we first met. The blond covers his hand against the gash, applying pressure to it.

"I would say that makes us even, yeah?" Josh pants in front of Shizuo, also grasping his side.

Shizuo shakes his head menacingly, tackling Josh against the floor while his guard is down. Josh cries out as he hits the ground, grasping Shizuo's hand around his neck desperately. "S-Stop."

The blond loosens his grip around Josh's neck, watching the tears roll down his face. "I'm… I'm sorry…" Shizuo whispers before pushing himself off of Josh and bolting out of the room.


	4. Midnight

Author's Note: I just wanted to give a shout out to anyone who takes time out of their day to review. You honestly have no idea how much that means to me, nor how much that MOTIVATES me to write! All it took was one review today and I suddenly had a wave of ambition. I really like this story so far and I have a million ideas, I have just been so much and I get too caught up in my own mind. Not to mention the fact that I am so envious of other authors, but fuck it… My goal isn't to be like other people, or else I wouldn't be unique, and my STORIES wouldn't be unique. Sure, I might not have the best grammar, or the best spelling, or the best plot, but I'll be damned if I don't let myself be creative. I love you all so much &amp; I hope you keep reading. Au revoir~!

**Day Eleven, Midnight**

"Get a hold of yourself… Get a hold of yourself, for god sakes, he's not here!" I watch Shizuo pace around the bathroom with his hands on the sides of his head. Is he finally on the verge of breaking?

"Who are you talking about?" My voice echoes the entire room in an icy tone. I am leaning against the wall with my arms crossed and a smug smirk across my lips. After he hears my voice, Shizuo grips his hair and starts scratching violently.

"Stop it! He's not here, he's in hell or something… Get a hold of yourself!"

I chuckle lowly watching Shizuo act so small, so minuscule, as if he were the one who died. It's hilarious watching a man of his stature break before my demonic eyes. _At least he got one thing right. Been there… Done that._

"Stop mocking me, ya damn flea!" Shizuo yells and then we both turn our heads to the bathroom door. Judging from Shizuo's reaction, he must think a guard came to find him, but it is in fact Josh.

"Hey… I know you're in here." Josh says hesitantly. "I want you to know that I don't blame you for what you did…" I look up to see the pained expression on Shizuo's face. What's this? Is the monster actually capable of remorse? "And I know why you did it." Josh walks around the bathroom and sits down on a bench. He glances over to the corner of the room where he can see Shizuo's shadow. "Honestly… I…" Josh stops talking for a moment to collect himself.

"I'm innocent. Not like everyone else, no, I'm not joking. Didn't you wonder why the guards trust me so much? What about how no one seems to know anything about me? Or maybe why I look so familiar? That's because… I asked to be here." At this moment, it seems like Shizuo is about to have a heart attack.

"Why would you ASK to be here?" Shizuo asked quizzically and furiously at the same time. Something seemed really fishy about all of this.

"Like I said, I know what you did. I know who you killed." Shizuo starts shaking his head while keeping his honey eyes shut tightly.

"His name is Izaya Orihara… You met him in high school… On the first day you met, he sliced your chest with a switchblade because he wanted to see what would happen. Like anything you ever did, he always wanted to see what would happen. He was fascinated by you."

"Why are you saying all this!?" Shizuo slams his right fist against the stall behind him.

"He has framed you countless of times for things you haven't done, from love letters in school, to getting you fired, to even murder. Is this correct?"

"How do you know so much about me!?" Shizuo slams his other fist against the stall, almost knocking it over, but that wasn't enough to make Josh quit.

"On November 21st, 2015, Izaya approached you with a very simple plan. He wanted you to kill him, but not in any ordinary way. He wanted to frame you yet again. Why? I am guessing he got bored of chasing you around and wanted to torture you in a completely different light. He knew that you hated having this strength, that you hated the thought of hurting another living creature. That is precisely why you won't let anyone get close to you."

"Stop… Stop! You're wrong! It was my fault..." Shizuo slides down the stall with both hands on his face and starts shaking nervously. Once more, Josh refuses to quit his interrogation.

"That day, Izaya sent out a fake news report that your brother, Kasuka Heiwajima, was being held hostage. As usual, you thought it was another one of Izaya's schemes, except this time he went too far. You sought after Izaya and cut him off at an alleyway where Izaya confessed to holding your brother hostage. He threatened to push a button, a button that would set off a bomb and obliterate your brother in an instant. You had two options, become Izaya's toy for the rest of your life, or kill him for the sake of your brother… So you chose the latter. The police showed up immediately afterwards and voila, you were sent to prison. No one believed you, not even your own family, because of your reputation."

After Josh finishes his little speech, Shizuo stands up from his spot on the floor, stomps over to Josh and pins him gently against the wall. Tears stream down his red cheeks even as he tries to maintain a threatening demeanor. "Who are you!?"

"I am a part of an agency known as Gunn. For years we have been trying to take down Izaya Orihara, the Yakuza and various other information brokers. I look like Izaya because I wanted to see what you would do in extreme situations, and you didn't disappoint me. I am here to help you, Shizuo, you deserve to be freed from this hell."

_This Josh kid keeps on getting more and more interesting by the second. I think I'm going to have fun with him~._


	5. Analogies

**Analogies Can Break a Person - Day Eleven**

"How did you break your ribs again?" One of the doctors at the prison's infirmary inquires as she wraps bandages around Josh's chest.

"I was trying to fix a light bulb on the ceiling and fell off the latter, I guess." Josh rubs the back of his head nervously, wincing a bit from the pain.

"It's not like you to be so clumsy. Any other injuries I should know about?"

"Nope!" Josh smiles. He is wearing a turtleneck shirt under his uniform to hide the bruises on his neck.

Shizuo watches Josh from the corner of the room, leaning against the wall with a scowl on his face. After Josh revealed his true identity, Shizuo stood there stunned in silence for what seemed like hours. I couldn't tell what he was thinking exactly. Based on an educated guess I'd say that Shizuo was genuinely surprised that someone actually cared, especially to the point of pretending to be an inmate. No one ever showed him that amount of kindness, even his own family. They gave up on him the moment they heard the news that he killed someone. Throughout his entire trial, Kasuka couldn't even look Shizuo in the eye. I think that's what affected him the most.

Josh was the one who ended up breaking the silence, asking Shizuo if he would accompany him to the infirmary. Shizuo simply nodded his head, placed his hands in his pockets and followed the ravenette.

Once the doctor leaves the room, Josh finally has a chance to speak to Shizuo alone. "I know this is a lot to take in. Your life hasn't exactly been… fair."

That seems to strike a nerve with Shizuo. "You have no idea what my life has been like. I don't care if you look like the Flea or if you're some fancy detective. All you know is what you've read on some shitty news site."

Josh lets out a sympathetic huff through his nose. "That may be true, but believe it or not you're not the only one who's had a shitty life. Look, I'm not saying that our lives are similar… I'm just saying that it is possible to empathize with someone you barely know."

"How?" Shizuo asked begrudgingly. "I mean why? Why do you care when you know damn well who I am? You knew that I wouldn't be easy to get along with and you knew I despised Izaya, yet you go and dress like him and almost get yourself killed."

Josh shakes his head and chuckles lowly with his arms crossed.

"What's so funny?" Shizuo furrows his brows.

"Nothing… It's nothing. Don't take this the wrong way but I can see why Izaya liked you so much."

"LIKED me? The fuck!? What part of making my life a living hell equals like!?"

_Like him? Shizu-chan? Haha! Hahahahaha! Ohhhh, he's got things so ass-backwards. Humour me, Josh, if that's even your real name... Probably not considering you're a detective._

"I'll give you an example. Remember when you were a little kid and all the girls would bug you? Then your parents would say that they teased you because they had a crush on you?"

"No…? No one would talk to me as a kid because they were afraid of me. And why the hell would you bug someone if you like them?"

"Hmmmmm," Josh ponders for a moment, "probably because they want you to notice them. They want all your attention to be focused on you and they have no other way of expressing their feelings. Doesn't that sound like Izaya? Hear me out, you've hated each other ever since you first met and you both have different ways to make friends, yet you are both friends with Shinra."

"Yeah, so what?"

"I mean… You guys have a lot more in common than you think. I'm sure Shinra has told you that before."

"I still don't see your point. Are you implying that Izaya had a crush on me?" Shizuo gags a little. I don't blame him; if I were still alive I'd probably be gagging right now too.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, I was just using an analogy. I'm merely implying that he wanted to be friends, but when things turned south he couldn't stop it so he decided to roll with it. Isn't that what you did too?"

"I guess… I still can't imagine myself being friends with someone like him."

"Sure you can; I would consider us friends by now." Josh smiles. I can tell Shizuo really wants to bolt out of the room right about now. "Let's pretend that Izaya didn't want to ruin your life for a moment. Imagine what it would be like if you two were friends-"

"I really don't see why we are having this conversation. He's dead. I'm stuck here."

Josh frowns, "believe it or not, in order for you to get passed all this, you have to move on from his death. The only way to do that is to learn from the past and realize there's more to a person than what is on the surface."

Shizuo closes his eyes and snickers lowly under his breath. He moves over to the hospital bed and looms over Josh with his arms on either side of the ravenette. Josh leans back on his elbows from the sudden move from the blonde. Nonetheless he keeps his eyes peeled on the other man, not breaking eye contact for a second. "What makes you think I haven't moved on?"

Josh gulps before collecting enough courage to respond. "You don't remember? In the locker room… You told me that it was all your fault. You were a mess Shizuo, that's not something someone admits just for the hell of it."

Shizuo holds a staring contest with Josh for a minute as he tries to think of a response. It looks like he is having a really difficult time. I am surprised that Shizuo hasn't punched the lights out of Josh yet; this is the first time I have seen him attempt to rationalize his feelings.

Josh collapses against the pillow and holds on to Shizuo's hands, which have become fists by now. This makes Shizuo jump a little and quickly look away. "It's okay to regret killing him… In fact that makes you a good person." Josh gazes at Shizuo sympathetically. "Think about it; you would be insane no matter how evil the person was. It's not easy getting over something like that, believe me. I've had to kill for the sake of others before and it's the most difficult thing in the entire world."

Josh gives Shizuo some time to digest his confession. "Sometimes I forget about it… and other times I beat myself up over it. But then I remember that I saved lives, and that's what you thought you were doing. Honestly I commemorate you for putting up with his abuse for this long. You are strong Shizuo, and no… I don't mean on the outside. Do you know how many people Izaya drove to insanity? Or how many people killed themselves because they couldn't take the psychological trauma? I bet he didn't regret a single thing, even now that he's dead. Now if that's not being the real monster then I don't know what is…"

Shizuo's eyes well up with a waterfall of tears. He crumples on to the bed, using his elbows for support and digs his face into Josh's shoulder. Josh massages circles with one hand on his back and the other soothes his blonde locks. Shizuo lets out a choking, heartbreaking cry meanwhile simultaneously gripping on to the bedsheets with both hands. Josh continues to comfort Shizuo by whispering "it's okay" over and over.

For some reason this doesn't give me satisfaction. These aren't the tears that I wanted… Despite seeing and hearing him cry he appears more relieved than he has in a long, long time. I'd say he hasn't felt this relieved in his whole life. _How dare Josh for ruining my plans. If it weren't for him I would have successfully broken Shizuo by now, in a completely different way. You just made a huge mistake by trying to heal Shizu-chan… If you thought he had it bad, no, no, no, no, wait until I'm through with you. I am just getting started._


	6. Recollection

Author's Note - Once again, thank you so much to my dear readers, followers, reviewers, etc. I feel like I have to thank you every chapter because you are the reason why I write! I always forget to mention that I do not own DRRR. If I did own durarara, it would be a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT storyline if you know what I mean, LOL! On another note, I am honestly surprised/glad that Shizaya still has a fan base considering the show isn't extremely mainstream. Does anyone else feel that way or is it just me...?

This chapter is pretty sad and it was pretty difficult for me to write. I actually see myself a lot in Izaya &amp; I am sure I am not the only one who feels that way. That is why I chose to write in his POV in the first place. For those of you who think there won't be any Izaya x Shizuo, I should let you know that you're wrong. I have a lot of plans for this story &amp; I'mma give you a hint… possession, dark magic, all that good stuff! BOOM, I just blew your mind. ;)

* * *

**Memories Are Hilarious - Day Eleven Continued**

I saw the doctor walk passed the room. The look on her face showed it all, she barely ever saw a man like Shizuo break down like that, especially in the presence of another man... let alone on top of him. After the shock subsided she looked down at her chart and let them be. Everyone knew Josh was a detective, although they couldn't treat him like one in the presence of other inmates. However Shizuo and Josh were completely alone and she seemed to trust Josh's judgement.

As for Shizuo, he stopped weeping shortly after Josh started massaging his back. It almost looks like he's asleep now but I know him better than that. He's not sleeping, he's most likely trying to cope with the embarrassment. I can't say the same for Josh; he passed out a while ago.

Shizuo sits up on the bed slowly, careful not to wake up the sleeping beauty. I only say that due to the striking resemblance between him and I. Everyone knew I have some sort of superiority complex, even I cannot deny that.

The blonde hesitantly reaches his hand out and unbuttons Josh's turtleneck. He traces his finger along the bruises he made and hangs his head in shame. "Why... Why did you have to go and look like him... Of all the people in the world. I know, I know, it was all a test... but what if I fucked up again?"

I move to sit on the bed beside Shizuo and stare at him, perplexed. _Is this all an act? Or does he really regret killing me? _I still don't understand. This could have all been some sort of brilliant set up, I'm not an idiot, but... the more he says it, the more I begin to think he's telling the truth. Why would he say all this, especially now that he's "alone" and can't manipulate anyone. It doesn't make any sense, which sets my nerves on fire per usual.

"Yes... What if, Shizu-chan, that's the million dollar question isn't it?" My words slither like a snake about to attack its prey.

Shizuo quickly looks over to where the sound is coming from. Little does he know he's staring directly into my eyes. "Don't fuck with me... Not anymore. I'm better than that now, what more do you want from me!? Look at where I am!"

Despite Shizuo yelling, Josh remains in a deep state of sleep from pain medication. "I want you to confess properly. I want you to give me every single detail." I take my time in between words to make sure Shizuo hears me.

"God damn it!" Shizuo growls loudly and kicks over a table. "I am beyond sick of this shit! Fine, you know what? Fuck it. What do I have to lose? You've taken everything from me, and even now that you're dead, I can't escape you!"

"Why do you think that is, Shi-zu-chan?" I cross my arms over my chest with a shit eating grin on my face.

"Why? The fuck do you mean WHY? You have to tell ME that."

"Hmmmm~ don't twist things around here. I'm the one in your head, remember? You know the answer." I can't contain myself anymore; this is all too funny! The lights start to flicker on and off from my uncontrollable laughter.

This is why I absolutely adore Shizuo... Ah yes, Josh was correct down to the last word. Except he forgot to mention one tiny detail... I loved Shizu-chan in ways that were indescribable. I loved him so much that I was willing to give up my life for that beast of a man. At the beginning I thought of him as a monster to conceal my true feelings for him. Why did I think of him as a monster? Not because of his supernatural strength, no, that was only part of it.

The main reason was to due the fact that I could not control him like I could any other human being. Therefore I tried to convince myself that he wasn't human, so that way I could "hate" him. Really I had no idea what I felt towards the man but I did know that it scared the crap out of me, which was a whole new emotion out of my control. I didn't care about the whole "homosexual" side of it, rather I never pictured myself finding any human being remotely attractive. Over time I quickly started to realize that I was lying to myself.

Once I accepted the fact that it was far too late to express myself to Shizuo, I fell into a deep state of depression. Nothing really seemed funny or entertaining anymore although no one could guess I was suffering, not even Namie. I put up a brilliant façade up until the bittersweet end. If I was going to kill myself, I wanted Shizuo to do it, the only person on Earth I developed feelings for. Of course I couldn't walk up to him and ask him to kill me. Can you imagine how suspicious that would sound? So I did the one thing that I was best at, devising a foolproof plan that would leave Shizuo no choice but to kill me.


	7. Lucky Misfortune

Author's Note – If you guys want longer chapters you're gonna have to wait longer. If you are as impatient as I am that's not exactly ideal but I am willing to do it. It's not that I can't write long chapters, I just get so anxious to update my story. If I wait too long to write a chapter I am afraid that I will lose my motivation. It's been a long time since I had motivation to write my own story without the help of anyone else. ALSO instead of writing "day eleven continued" blah blah blah, I am only going to tell you when a NEW day starts. Does that make sense? On an exciting note, in a couple of chapters there will be a sexy scene, I promise. Keep giving me your input lovelies!

If the last chapter was unclear in any way, let me explain more. Shizuo still thinks that he's imagining Izaya's voice because he's a fuck boy. Also Izaya felt like he was forced to kill himself from his depression. He felt like there was no possible way to get passed his feelings for Shizuo, and there was definitely no way to confess his feelings, so he decided to die. He had no idea that he would become a demon or even if hell existed.

* * *

**Lucky Misfortune**

"God! Make it stop! Make it fucking stop!" The lights continue to flicker and some of the light bulbs start to spontaneously combust. Shizuo's practically screaming by now, grasping the sides of his head as if he is holding on for dear life. Once he notices the glass is shattering, he runs over to Josh's bed and protects him with his body. The sudden movement causes Josh to jolt awake.

"What are you doing?" He looks to the side and notices all the broken glass and the table that Shizuo knocked over. "What happened?"

All of us hear a number of footsteps hurry to the door and violently fling it open. "What's going on here!?" The doctor demands an answer. There are five officers standing behind her in case of emergency.

Shizuo looks stunned for a moment before he realizes that he needs to answer. "This isn't what it looks like."

"First thing's first, get off poor Mister Winters, Heiwajima! And hands up." One of the officers threatens with a gun pointed in his direction. That's when everyone notices the mess. "You better have a good explanation for this."

Shizuo puts his hands on top of his head and stands up, walking away from Josh's bed. "As if you would believe me."

"Hold it right there! You have one minute to explain."

"Listen, I don't know what the fuck happened, okay!? I was just sitting there and the lights started to explode! Then I climbed on top of Josh to protect him from the glass!"

"Yeah right, Heiwajima. You expect us to believe your crazy story? I knew this was fishy from the very beginning; Josh would never fall off a ladder. You pushed him in order to make it look like an accident, huh? Once your plan didn't fall through, you waited until he was asleep and tried again. You don't like how close Josh was getting to you, especially since he looks like Orihara, am I right!?" The doctor retorts.

"Look, Doctor Mack! There are bruises on Josh's neck." The officer holding the gun pointed out. They all look incredibly scared.

"No, no, you've got it all wrong—they were there from before!"

"So you do admit trying to kill Josh? What a sicko… You even did it in the same way you killed Izaya Orihara. I bet you threatened Josh all this time not to tell anyone or else you'd squash him like a bug!"

"No, Doctor Mack! Officers, you could not be more wrong about what's happened. I forced Heiwajima to fight me—"

"It's okay Josh, you don't have to keep this hidden from us anymore. You have tried to protect Shizuo for far too long, enough, all right? I'm not going to watch one of my friends die over a monster. I don't understand your obsession; he's nothing but a vile beast. Who knows how long he's been planning this? He probably knew you even before he met you, don't be so naïve Josh. He's smarter than he looks; how else do you think he managed to kill the greatest information broker of all time?"

I smile and brush some non-existent dust off of my egotistical shoulder. _Why thank you Doctor Mack, I've had my fair share of helping out the police department but I had no idea they were so fond of me. Funny how things play out in my favour even when I'm dead._

Josh and Shizuo both are at a loss for words. I can see the defeat in both of their eyes. It will take a lot of convincing on both parties to realize Shizuo is innocent, especially after this unfortunate event. Well… for them it's unfortunate, I'm loving this. It makes me wonder why I haven't done something like this sooner. Oh well, now I have more tricks up my sleeve I guess… like breaking light bulbs. That's a skill right?

"Heiwajima, with all this evidence, we have no choice but to send you to solitary confinement. You are at a risk for other inmates and yourself."

Shizuo hangs his head low and says nothing. What do I have de-ja-vu right now? Oh yeah, that's the same pathetic look on his face he had during his trial. All five officers start to drag Shizuo out of the room, but stop midway when Josh starts pleading desperately.

"No! You can't! You have to listen to me, it's not how it looks. You can't send him there! None of this is his fault!" Josh tries to stand up but he is restrained by a couple officers.

"Please try to understand, detective. You are injured badly and pretty delirious at the moment. When you wake up, you'll understand the situation more clearly. Don't worry, Shizuo won't be able to harm you anymore." Doctor Mack assures sympathetically.

"When I wake up? I'm not going to sleep!" Josh tries his best to escape from the hold the officers have on him. "He's not going anywhere without me! Don't you see he's a wreck!? If he wanted to hurt any of you, he would have done so by now, he would have killed me by now too! Furthermore, he's not even trying to run. This is why I chose not to work with police scum!" Doctor Mack holds up a needle and Josh's sapphire eyes grow wider.

"No—no! What are you doing? Stop it. Get that away from me!" Josh starts thrashing around violently as the doctor inserts a sedative into his IV. "I'm sorry, Josh..." Doctor Mack's voice carries throughout the room. Josh slowly stops yelling and moving, unable to contain the overwhelming tiredness he feels and eventually collapses against the bed.


	8. Solitary

A/N – This chapter was extremely difficult for me to write. At first I experienced writer's block, then I had to take breaks for personal reasons, now I have to take breaks because it's straight up crazy. Sometimes I start to feel nauseous when I write for Day 100, paranoid, insane, scared. But… I'm doing this for you guys and because I love this story so far. Please continue to let me know how you feel~!

**SHIZUO'S POINT OF VIEW:**

** SOLITARY CONFINEMENT**

The image of Josh's face is engraved in my mind. There are no windows in this place, just the light that shines from the small opening in the door. It grants me enough vision to count the dots on the ceiling sometimes, since there is nothing else to do. I am still conflicted on whether or not I should believe Josh. I mean fuck, he looks like Izaya, sounds like Izaya, even acts like the damn flea sometimes.

Maybe Izaya secretly turned him crazy indirectly, like everyone else who ever had the adversity of meeting him. After all he said that he studied the louse and I can't imagine what it would be like to "play" Izaya in a role. It wouldn't have been the first time an actor went crazy playing an insane character. Or maybe he was working with him this whole time? Screw it… This is hurting my head. Fact is it doesn't matter how I got here, I'm here now and it feels like I'm in hell.

I would take anything else in this prison over solitary confinement. Confinement is an accurate word for it, I never thought that I was claustrophobic until now especially since my bulky body can barely fit. The smell of bile, feces, blood and piss surround this place, not only from humans. Sometimes I can hear various animals and insects crawl their way through the walls, or maybe it's just my imagination. I often hear other inmates mutter to themselves and make strange noises that seem inhuman. This part of the prison is more like an insane asylum. I don't blame them though, I can see myself becoming insane in this place considering there is virtually nothing to do aside from masturbate, talk and think.

It is incredibly tempting to open all the doors and shove sadistic guards in the small cells to see how they hold up. Looking over to my side I can see some drawings on the walls from other inmates &amp; tallies counting the slow days. I wonder what happened to these poor men. Has anyone died where I am laying? I can't imagine spending my last few breaths in a place like this. Being in here really puts the world into perspective.

There were a lot of times I told myself that criminals deserved to go to prison, deserved solitary confinement 'cause that would have made my job a hell of a lot easier. However… now that I'm here, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Death row seems more forgiving than torture, don't you think? Obviously there are worse torture methods, but the actual definition is: the action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment or to force them to do or say something, or for the pleasure of the person inflicting the pain. That pretty much sums up the prison experience.

Then again no one really knows what goes on in prison, they think it's some sort of correction facility. Hah. The only thing I've learned here is what freedom really means… and my new appreciation for the dictionary, I suppose. The population pays millions of taxes a year for a place like this to run. We spend our days doing the same old routine, and for what? Even when/if we graduate from our sentences, we go out into the world not knowing how to be a part of society anymore. So, yes, having another shot at life sounds much more appealing.

* * *

**DAY TWELVE**

I can hear the faint sound of my cell door opening in the middle of the night. _What? Whatever, I must be dreaming…_ Once again, I hear the sound of the door closing. _When did I fall asleep? It's so quiet for once…_ I can feel the end of my bed dip as if there is a person there. _Fuck me… I'm already starting to go crazy in here. Wouldn't be surprised, I was hearing voices when I wasn't in solitary confinement._ Regretfully I open my eyes and see the figure of a man sitting at the edge of my bed. I jump backwards and hit my head on the wall behind me. "Ouch!" Opening my eyes again, I can see that the figure is still there. "Okay… This is some next level shit."

"Shhhhhh," the lithe man puts his finger towards his lips as he crawls his way towards me on the bed.

I am frozen in place, I can't move even if I wanted to. Is this what it's like to lucid dream? I have the overwhelming urge to punch this man in his unrecognizable face and destroy everything in my path. Something about this seems vaguely familiar, it brings me comfort and anger at the same time. His breath reaches my face, specifically my lips and I can tell he's studying me through the darkness. My heartbeat quickens at the action, I have never been in this position before. There is something extremely enticing about this moment, I feel like I can't look away, nor can I speak anymore.

He places his hand against my chest, I can feel the coldness through my uniform. His other hand hesitantly cups my cheek. Once again I can feel he's freezing and his hand is so soft. My eyes become heavy once I notice that he is trying to seduce me, yet surprisingly it doesn't bother me. In fact it turns me on and I desperately want him to continue his actions. It's been so long since I've had intimate contact that all of my doubts fly out the window.

As soon as this man senses I am comfortable, he takes that as an invitation to continue. His lips brush against mine, not quite a kiss although it leaves me begging for more. I attempt to move my head closer, to hold him and ravish this bewitching human. His lips curl into a cunning smile, I can feel it against my own. The beautiful creature moves his lips towards my ear and begins to whisper. "Not yet." His words cause me to shudder and my pants become painfully tight, all I can do is let out a frustrated groan. "You will get what you want." Where have I heard this voice before? Ugh, it's bugging the crap out of me that I can't remember. I can feel his neck brush up against my cheek and the simple action makes me roll my eyes.

Why does this guy turn me on so much? A guy, no less. Why do I feel like I know him, why does it feel like there's been sexual tension between us for years? "Impatient, are we?" He whispers again and plops himself down on my lap. Jesus Christ-! I start growling uncontrollably, there is nothing I want more than to shred his clothes off and fuck him senselessly, right here, right now. He starts moving his hips against my lap expertly as if we've done this so many times, as if he knows exactly where to touch me. Yeah… I must be dreaming. Fuck, I never want this dream to end.

I can hear his gorgeous moans while he moves his hips as well. My god, he sounds so beautiful, I really want to see his face… but I also feel like that wouldn't be wise. He moves faster on my lap and grips the headboard of the bed for support. I wish that it was my hands supporting him instead, but this awkward force won't let me. He leans his head forward again and experimentally presses his lips against mine a few times. When he pulls away, I am finally able to move my mouth. "Do you get some sort of sick pleasure in not allowing me to move?" I hear him genuinely laugh at my question and it's the sweetest thing I've ever heard, as if I've never heard him laugh like that before.

He leans in closer to me again, this time with more force as he grips my thighs. "You have… No. Idea." I gulp at his words and feel my pants become unbearably tight. He moves in closer to my ear "there are so many things I can do to you…"

"Really? What are you waiting for then?" I inhale the scent of his neck from this position.

"Such impatience! Fine, fine. How about we start with a kiss…" The weight on my body is suddenly lifted to the point where I can finally move. As much as I want to ravish him, I am keen on savouring this moment.

My hand cups his right cheek and I run my thumb along his smooth skin. I slowly move his face in order to close the gap between our lips, and as soon as our lips collide he gasps. This kiss is different, less rushed, more passionate.

Kissing him feels like the first time snow lands against my lips at the beginning of winter. He's cold and soft at the same time, our lips melt together like glass shards freezing together in the middle of a storm. I can tell he feels the same way from his sudden, sporadic heart rate and a rush of heat emitting from his mouth.

We both look at each other in the dark although we only see silhouettes, and somehow that's satisfying. I have this overwhelming urge to express my emotions, but I keep my mouth shut in fear of rejection and continue to kiss him. He tries to match my pace that's growing faster and faster. I don't think that I can contain it, I want him, I want to taste him, touch him, caress him, kiss him, fuck him, seduce him, and consume him until there's nothing left except the purity of our souls.

He's gasping for breath now because I'm suffocating him with my lips, but I continue. I continue like a rabid animal on the hunt for his prey. I continue because those cries and moans are so sweet, so delicious, addicting, intoxicating. It's like eating candy on Halloween, experiencing chocolate for the first time, feeling the rush of adrenaline after a good work-out, lighting your favourite candle in the middle of spring, waking up to the heavenly smell of bacon.

There's only one thing that breaks my trance and that is his hands on mine, where I suddenly realize where they have been throughout this kiss. On his neck, choking the life out of him. The light from the small window hits my hands where I can see them clearly. I can feel every little tiny bone in his neck break one by one in between in my fingers. My hands continue to squeeze his neck even though I am trying desperately to get them to stop, begging to wake up from this never-ending nightmare.

Suddenly my head moves up slowly without my permission and I am unable to close my eyes from what I am about to see. First I see his chin, immediately recognizing his jawline, then his lips, his nose, those high cheek bones, his black hair, and then finally his crimson, lifeless eyes. I notice they are wide open with a single tear cascading on to my hand. I start screaming to the point where my ears feel like they are going to bleed. I can't stop screaming and a pool of tears and snot refuse to cease from my eyes and nose. Between panicked breaths I am finally able to speak, still unable to move my body, "please make it stop!"

I choke out spit from my mouth and feel an overwhelming wave of nausea wash over me. I gag but nothing comes up from not eating properly for the past week. "Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! I'm sorry, oh god, I am so sorry for what I did to you, Izaya! Please! I'm begging you, I'm sorry!" I cry out, voice cracking, sobbing, trying to catch my breath (which seems impossible). "I deserve this! Is that what you want to hear? I deserve everything that you've put me through! Everything! What do you want me to do?" I scream once again, over and over while I am forced to look at his corpse. "Kill me, Izaya! Please!"

At that statement, Izaya's body springs back to life and he starts laughing madly. I am able to move my body again. The first thing I do is back up against the headboard out of fear. I hug my legs and start rocking back and forth. _Is this hell? It has to be hell… or maybe I'm in some sort of coma._

"Hahahahahah! This is so fucking hilarious, I can't even! I'm going to piss myself! Hahaha!" Izaya grabs his sides and continues laughing for a whole ten minutes before calming down. Throughout his laughing fit, I just sit there, continuing to rock back and forth like a petrified child.

"Oh my god, hehehe! You should have seen your face when you realized that you choked me to death, again! Ha! That absolutely priceless, magnificent, ten out of ten! I'm going to have to add that to my personalized Shizu-chan photo album. I think that was by far the best thing I have ever done, wouldn't you say? I mean, aside from dying for real of course."

I am not even fazed when he starts to grow horns, bat-like wings, claws, fangs, and a tail. He rips off his signature jacket, revealing a scantily clad outfit. As much as I hate to admit it in my terrified state, this demonic, slutty appearance always suited Izaya Orihara.


	9. Possession

Author's Note - Hello lords and ladies! I hope you are all enjoying your summer and have enough time to read all the fanfictions your hearts desire. Speaking of desire, I have come to grant you SEX. That is right, the thing you thought was probably never going to happen in this fanfic. Who are we kidding? It's Shizaya... my obsession... ahem. Anyways. Yes, as you can tell by the title there will be possession in this chapter. I am deeply sorry for not being able to post another chapter lately, but I really appreciate all your support, from the bottom of my heart. You guys keep me going!

**Possession**

**Shizuo's POV**

I wake from my nightmare, sweating profusely. Sitting up I rub my head from my pounding headache and rip off the sheets sticking to my wet skin. I scan the small area of the prison and sway my arms out in front of me, just in case it wasn't a dream. Nothing. I find nothing except the cold walls and the chill of my own breath. I still feel nauseous and I probably would have regurgitated if I had a proper intake of food.

These nightmares continue for the next week. To be honest they are the only thing I look forward to since they bring me some sort of entertainment. For the past couple days I have been waking up to find the aftermath of an orgasm. It's always the same. The first half of the dreams always start off sexy and then they turn into something horrific and sadistic. For a while I woke up pissed off, sick and nauseous that I would have such dreams, but now they actually turn me on, even when the dreams turn sour. No matter how much Izaya teases me in my dream, he never lets me go all the way, no matter how much I try to convince him.

I don't care about the smell anymore, the screams from other inmates, or how the food tastes. I just don't care. I don't desire anything aside from my dreams, to the point where I knock myself out when I can't sleep sometimes.

**Day Nineteen**

Here I am, nine days in solitary confinement. My hair and beard have grown longer, I'm pretty sure I smell like shit despite the showers they grant us, there are dark circles under my eyes despite how much I've slept, my body is sore from various bruises and cuts, my hands are rough and cut up from attempting to draw on the walls, and my teeth seem to be the only thing that are in good condition for "medical reasons" (basically they let don't want to pay for dental care).

For the past hour I've been drawing on the wall with a stick, when suddenly the cell door opened and I covered my eyes from the blinding light. Josh stood there with a bunch of guards by his side, mouth wide open. From my perspective he looked like my saviour, some sort of angel, so naturally I couldn't bring myself to move. Whatever happened to me next was out of my control. I admitted defeat ever since the moment I laid a hand on that man.

"Oh my god…" Were the first words that uttered from his mouth. "You monsters!" Josh yelled, referring to the guards beside him. _Or maybe he is referring to me? I'm not sure anymore, this is probably just a dream anyway. _

"Look at him, he's a mess! LOOK at what you've done to him! Does he look threatening? Huh? Answer me! No … You turned him into a frightened, helpless child. If only the public knew what you were doing to these people..." Josh covered his hands over his eyes and for some reason, unbeknownst to me, he started crying.

I reached my hand out in an attempt to comfort him, shaking, barely able to move my arm. At this action he started to cry more so I retracted my hand against the bed and watched. Josh slammed his fist against the wall once he gathered up enough strength and glared at the officers.

"Listen, I thought that what you did to the prisoners before was unnecessary, but now you crossed a line. From now on the rules of this prison are going to change. First thing's first, let's get you out of here Shizuo." Josh reached out and grabbed my arm, gently pulling me out of the cell.

_I have no idea what is going on right now. Is this still a dream? It doesn't feel like it, but then again the dreams with Izaya don't exactly feel imaginary. This dream is pretty weird though, I haven't dreampt about Josh yet and I haven't left my cell. _The light still hurts my eyes, everything is a blur and I can barely walk at the speed Josh is going.

One side of my body wanted to go with him and the other side was still stuck to that cell. It had only been nine days and it already felt like my body and soul were attached to those four walls. For a moment I stopped, forcing Josh to stop moving no matter how forcefully he tried to pull me closer. "Why?" He simply asked with tears in his eyes. "Come with me."

"I don't know if I can." I muttered the words out, they barely came out as a hoarse whisper but Josh understands what I am trying to say. His mouth opens up to say something, it looks like he is angry although his next words come out in a soft, peaceful tone.

"Listen to me. You are Shizuo Heiwajima, the proclaimed monster of Ikebukuro, and _so many _people would not have that any other way. I know it doesn't feel like it right now ... but give it a second to sink in, to process. Above all remember that this place is your enemy, and it is your choice to find the strength _we all know _you have inside you."

Josh's plea bled into my soul and slowly crushed down the walls I have built ever since the moment I placed my hands on Izaya's neck. I felt the sudden need to break every single thing in this prison, except for Josh of course, but miraculously I kept my composure. "Okay." I began to nod my head in agreement. "Let's go."

I saw Josh's entire demeor relax and saw a small smile appear on the corner of his lips. The guards behind us looked terrified all of a sudden, however they let us escape without any hassle. I did not understand what was happening, how or why Josh fought for me to get out, but none of that seemed to matter much. The fact was, an angel appeared in front of me that day and I took his hand, ready to face every challenge that arrived.

Josh led me to the change rooms. To my surprise it was even cleaner than usual and no one was there, not even the ghosts of each prisoner that died in there. If I didn't know any better I could say that this was some sort of resort, not a prison.

"I had an entire team clean and fix the locker room up today. I figured that you needed a place to relax after going through hell, and if you let me, I could be your nurse for a day."

Without saying a single word, I nodded and allowed Josh to do whatever he wanted. First he led me to a comfortable chair in front of a mirror and a sink, and began to shave my beard. He moved gracefully and delicately with the razor, not missing a single hair yet careful enough not to cut me, although I wouldn't have been able to feel it even if he did. After shaving me he moved to brush my teeth, and I allowed him even though it was slightly awkward. No one had done something like this to me ever since I was a little kid, however I understood why Josh wanted to and it made me feel completely blessed.

He then moved to take off my prisoner uniform. I stood up and towered over him as he unzipped the uniform and allowed it to strip down my shoulders and over my hips, along with the boxers I was wearing.

For some reason I felt the need to reach forward and grab on to the bottom of Josh's t-shirt. He glanced up to me inquizzically at first, and after a minute he caved and lifted his arms in the air. That gave me a clue to continue and pulled the shirt up and off his body. Afterwards I looked into his eyes as I clutched on to the shirt in my trembling hands. God, sometimes I wish he didn't look so much like Izaya.

"I'm ... going to turn the shower on, okay?" Josh broke the awkward silence between us. I shook my head and muttered the word "sure" while I continued to shake. I watched him take off the rest of his clothes from the corner of my eye and turn the water on. Thankfully it was a steaming shower due to the privacy policy at the prison, so I could hide the blush on my cheeks and my unusual erection. Despite how incredibly awkward I felt, I went with my beastly instincts, threw his shirt on the ground and stormed my way over to Josh.

"What are you do-" The detective couldn't even finish his sentence before my hands were on his cheeks and I leaned down to close the gap between our lips. His eyes widened like saucers and his body went limp, but my quick reflexes caught him before he could fall, which happened to deepen our kiss. For a while he just laid in my arms and stared into my determined eyes, stunned at my most recent action. After about a minute of this he sprung back to life, stood up and wrapped his arms around my neck.

**Izaya's POV**

I could not contain my rage anymore, watching Josh all over him. How dare Shizu-chan, MY Shizu-chan, embrace another man ... a man that highly resembled ME, no less ... and kiss him as if he is his only source of oxygen. That is supposed to be me he is kissing right now, damn it!

I screamed from my rage and allowed my spirit to pour out into Josh's nose, through his body and attacked his soul. The darkness from my being clouded and dominated Josh's light, to the point where no light shone through, and just like that ... I was possessing the detective.

I pulled away from Shizuo's mouth for just a moment to breathe for the first time in about a month, now. Living again was surreal, like I was dreaming, but I could feel the heat around me and most importantly, I could grip Shizuo's muscles beneath my fingertips.

I backed us up underneath the stream of water and tilted my head back, allowing the warm water to drip down my body. I can't believe it ... I am alive again! Hahaha! I'M ALIVE! I'M FUCKING LIVING. Hehehe!

After I was satisfied with the shower, I snapped my head back in Shizuo's direction. At this moment the tattoos on Josh's body disappeared, and were replaced with the scars and markings of my old body. His eyes changed from blue to red, and the length of his hair changed as well. Josh's body slowly started to mold and form into my old body thanks to my supernatural powers. I stepped out of the line of the shower head and cracked my neck, along with my arms and fingers. "Ahhhh... I have been waiting for this moment, Shi-zu-chan. It has been far too long."

The familiar sound of my voice filled the room. I buried Josh's voice into the pit of my mind. He was screaming at me and trying his best to fight for access to his body again, but I would not let him. He could not even budge out of the small, black prison I created. It felt a little awkward to share the same body as someone else, although I buried Josh deep enough inside me, to the point where he wouldn't be a problem for a long, long time. I turned back around to face Shizuo with a sadistic smile on my face.

"What's wrong? Do you remember me? Yes, yes... Before you ask such a stupid question, this is real. It's happening." I slowly, tantalizingly walked towards Shizuo and placed his hand on my chest. He seemed to be frozen in place, as if the water had been replaced with liquid nitrogen. I knew that wasn't the case. He was terrified, shaking, just as I pictured! "Do you remember those dreams I blessed you with?" I let out a laugh from the back of my throat. "No, none of this was your imagination. It was me all along, don't you see? It was fate... I was able to possess Josh due to the similarities we shared! Hahaha!"

In the blink of an eye, Shizuo could see my demonic features in the mirror beside us. He didn't seem fazed, probably because he saw this version of me in his dreams before. "Ah, that's right ... Even while I am possessing someone, I can not get rid of these features. Quite bothersome, really. As you predicted I became a demon of Hell after you killed me, and then tried my best to torture you and lead you to insanity. Looks like my plan didn't exactly work out, considering that nuissance Josh exists, but ah well ... what can you do, right? At least you're scared of me now. Or maybe you're stunned at my beauty? Who knows! You did orgasm after those dreams, didn't you?"

At that statement, Shizuo's eyes narrowed and his gaze became cold. It wasn't the same expression as when he killed me, but very similar with a hint of lust. His body told me to shut up, but his eyes said that he didn't care anymore. I didn't exactly blame him, with the amount of times I abused him after he killed me. He probably didn't know what was real and what was fake anymore. In fact he probably thought he was still dreaming in solitary confinement, despite my efforts to convince him otherwise.

I took this opportunity to get down on my knees and crawl towards him, like a snake about to attack its prey, except for the fact my intentions were far from violence at the moment. My tail wagged behind me like a rattle and my claws clanked against the shower tile like a lion. Once I reached him I sat up on my knees and came face to face with Shizuo's enormous cock. "Hmm... I saw this in your dreams and I kinda thought you were over-compensating, but... you are really this big, huh?"

I witnessed Shizuo gulp down his own saliva at my compliment. He was, indeed, very horny. The blonde took me by surprise and touseled my hair into his hand, guiding my mouth against his penis. "Hmm?" I took an experimental lick at the head and tasted a bit of Shizuo's pre-cum. He tasted as sweet and salty as I pictured in my head, especially with the mix of water. Shizuo impatiently pulled me closer and forced his rock hard dick passed my teeth and into my mouth. I had to be careful considering I had fangs now, and I didn't exactly want him to bleed... not yet anyway.

While wrapping my lips around my teeth, I continued to suck and moan with Shizuo inside my mouth. I could still hear Josh screaming at me and banging against the walls of his internal cage, but his voice became more faint by the second. Josh kept going on and on about how he should be the one doing this to Shizuo, blah, blah, blah. I didn't care in the least. After all Josh only knew Shizuo for a month, whereas I knew Shizuo for years.

I gripped one hand at the base of his cock and massaged his balls with one hand while the other held on to Shizuo's thigh for support. I made a fist with my hand on his thigh to distract myself as I went down further to the base of the blonde's cock. I was choking on him, and for a moment it freaked me out due to the fact I died via choking ... just not in the same fashion. It seemed as though Shizuo suffered a similar thought as he pulled away from my mouth, and picked me up with my legs on either side of his waist. I tilted my head to the side and Shizuo took the invitation to kiss me.

At the start of this whole thing after I died, I desperately wanted Shizuo to go insane and eventually commit suicide, but now ... my feelings for Shizuo changed and re-surfaced, EVEN as a demon. I'm not saying that I'm in love with him, or that I would marry him, or anything of the sort. That's preposterous. Ludicrous, even. I am merely saying that parts of what Josh said were true. Only parts.

But then...

This happened...

"I love you, Izaya." Shizuo whispered against my lips.

My heart - well technically Josh's heart - skipped a couple beats. I decided not answer his statement, because I wanted to pretend I didn't hear what he just said. That didn't end up happening due to the fact that Josh would not stop screaming, which caused an annoying headache. "Shut up." I crashed our lips together in an attempt to drown everything out. "I want you to fuck me, Shizuo." I hissed against his mouth. "Fuck me as if you've wanted to for years."

It didn't take long for Shizuo to accept the offer, bend me over a conveniently sized table and lift my legs up in to the air. I held on to the table for dear life, no pun intended, as he lined his dick up against my hole. He began to slide himself inside of me, making me scream from a mix of pain and extascy.

The blond spread my legs apart to grant him more access and started to lean down against my chest, while he continued to push himself inside me. I thrashed my head from side to side and gripped the table even harder. I ended up bending the metal with the force of my supernatural strength. I was almost as strong as Shizuo with this new found body.

Once Shizuo thrusted all the way inside me, he held himself up via his elbows and leaned down to bite my neck. "Shizuo..." I demanded his attention. "Look at me. I want you to see every inch of me, all the faces I make, all the sounds that escape my lips. You are not going to break me. You won't hurt me. I promise you." I roughly cupped his face in my hands and stared into his honey coloured eyes. "I'm not human anymore; I mean look at the table..."

After a couple minutes I moved my hips against Shizuo's cock, trying my best to relax so it wouldn't hurt as much. My plan was a success, a few thrusts later I was moaning and my ass loosened up enough to enjoy the pain. "Yeah... fuck me..." I gritted my teeth from the pleasure Shizuo gave me, just from the sight of the sexy man in front of me. Shizuo seemed to gather up enough courage as he placed his hands on my hips and began pounding into me. "Yes!" I screamed, breaking and bending metal beneath my hands. "Harder, Shizu-chan, harder!"

Shizuo granted my wishes (for the first time in forever) and gripped my hips. With the amount of force he used, my hips would have broken in a normal human body. I threw my head back as a small amount of drool escaped the side of my lips. Usually I would care about my appearance and try to control how I looked, but at this moment I truly didn't give a single shit.

I wanted Shizuo to see me as a dirty, rotten, sleazy, used whore. If that is what it took to get Shizuo closer to me then so be it. It was ten times better than seeing him with another person, especially a man that looked like me, a man that he developed serious feelings for on his own free will. Did I believe that he loved me? Hell no. I wasn't ready to believe that. Was it possible that he started to show admiration towards me? Yes, however whatever he was seeing right now could not have been real, because maybe he already turned crazy. For all he knew this could have been just another nightmare.

"Oh god, Izaya." Shizuo's voice broke me out of my trance as well as the sudden loss of motion. I looked up at him and found tears pooling down his cheeks. He fell against my chest and wrapped his arms around my body, still buried deep inside of me.

"Shhhh..." I held his face in my hands and wiped his tears away. "Don't cry anymore. This isn't the man I knew." I ran my fingers down his neck soothingly with a small smile on my face. "Do you remember him? Who you used to be?" I watched Shizuo shake his head no.

"I can't." Shizuo coughed and sputtered out, as he let out a loud sob that shook the entire changing room. His tears flooded his face and landed on to my own, but I continued to wipe them away in a desperate attempt to make them stop. "When you died, when I... killed you... a piece of me died too."

I gasped, looking into Shizuo's eyes I knew he wasn't lying. He was suffering. That thought killed me a thousand times over and I had to fight back my own set of tears. "It wasn't your fault." I whispered into his ear and ran my hands through his golden locks. "It wasn't your fault." I repeated.

I thought that if I repeated those words enough times then maybe Shizuo would eventually believe them. But what if it was too late now? What if Shizuo could never go back to normal, back to the way things used to be? Instead of confessing my feelings like a sane individual, I pressured Shizuo into murdering me for the sake of his brother's life. Then I proceeded to torture this poor man after I died, even though it was my fault in the beginning, and now his sense of reality wasn't even there.

Although...

"I want you to listen to me the way that you listen to Josh. Pretend, just for a minute... Can you do that?" Shizuo just nodded his head since he couldn't form a proper sentence. "This whole situation is fucked up, no one can deny that. Not even me. BUT if there is one person in this entire universe that can overcome such torture, and find the truth buried beneath his soul ... That person would be you."

I smiled brightly before closing my statement. "After all you are my Shizu-chan, and no one shares the bond we do. So I am going to leave you with this. I'm going to let you heal and I will not interfere, but when the time comes I will be back. I don't know how or when I am going to do it, but I swear to god I will find a way to come back to life. I mean what the hell is Celty for, right?"


End file.
